For previous stories and messages files, Please click HERE
---

I lost a dear friend last week.  She took her life.

I learned online today:

Hopelessness kills. Numerous studies in humans show that we can 
die as a result of dire beliefs and a sense of overwhelming futility.
Dr Larry Dossey, 'Prayer is Good Medicine'

My friend lost hope.  No one around her knew how to give her hope.  
Maybe we should have said, "There is Hope.  There is always Hope!"  
In her case, it was true.  Somehow, she lost all hope.  Please tell your 
friends and those who are despondent -- "There is Hope.  
There is always Hope!" 

My friend regretted her past mistakes -- she could not get them out of 
her mind.

I learned online today:

The worst thing you can possibly do is worry about what you should 
have done.   Lichtenberg

My friend's worry was deadly.  Please tell your friends, and those 
who are despondent,  "Worry and Regret kill.  Kick worry away.  
Beat back regret with all your might. Worry and Regret can tear 
your heart asunder."

Do you have any suggestions?  Please tell us.  Our email address is:

LostFriend@CaliforniaCommunity.com.  Or, please leave a 
brief message at:  1 (619) 302-3100 or 1 (800) 76-WORLD.  
Thank you for sharing.


A STORY TO LIVE BY 
by Ann Wells of the Los Angeles Times

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out 
a tissue wrapped package.

"This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.

It was exquisite; silk, hand made and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price 
tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.

"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. 
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this 
is the occasion.

He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were 
taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, 
then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a 
special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when 
I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected 
death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the 
Midwestern town where my sister's family live. I thought about all the things 
that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things she had done 
without realising they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more 
and doing less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without worrying 
about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends 
and less time at committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern 
of experience to savour, not endure. I'm trying to recognise these moments now 
and cherish them.

I'm not 'saving' anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special 
event - such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia 
blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if 
I look prosperous, I can shell out $29.49 for one small bag of groceries without 
wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware 
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going 
friends.

"Some day" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. 
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. 
I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known she wouldn't be 
here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called 
family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former 
friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she 
would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing - 
I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours 
were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to 
get in touch with some day. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that 
I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my 
husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying 
very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter 
and lustre to our lives.

And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. 
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is . . . a gift from God."

 

Message:  EVERY DAY IS A GIFT.  THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT THE PRESENT.

 

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
by Irma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and 
the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much 
less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his 
youth.

"I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day 
because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculped like a rose before it melted 
in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass 
stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more 
while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth 
would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't 
show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every 
moment, realising that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance 
in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go 
get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . . 
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.

More Quotes by Irma Bombeck:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would 
not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you 
gave me."

"Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind."

"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor 
and hurt."

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, 
of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile 
to look in it, and yep, they're still there."

I" come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."

"If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?"

"Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and 
never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? 
If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described 
my kids."

"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake 
the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket 
is on crooked. This is sick."

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

"I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent."

"Myths that need clarification: "Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach." 
False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, 
Utah, and Nevada who own condos."

"As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do 
not know how old I am."

"I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."

"If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead."

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun 
off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."

"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out 
spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking 
with me when I go."

"Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip."

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert 
that night. And for what!"

"Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. 
Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they 
feel when they think they have failed."

"I am too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

"For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has 
reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been 
a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity 
ward."

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a 
child."

"What is a Grandmother? A grandmother is someone who pretends she doesn't know 
who you are on Halloween."

"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor 
and hurt."

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the 
top bunk bed until I faint."

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a 
parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength 
and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets 
iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is 
patriotism."

"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf 
of bread are three billion to one."

"I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it."

"Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket 
over it until it was dead."

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're 
finished, I climb out."

"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only 
take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."

"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are 
to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."

"The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to 
gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she 
has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother 
a moment's anxiety, and was never a child."

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the 
eye, and ask if anybody's home."

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with 
soap and water after she's only measured water in it."

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block 
the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked 
directions somewhere?"

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into 
a house with a white carpet is one of them."

"When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." 
Now I want to bang to tube against the counter top and have a five-course 
meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self destructs, 
all the better."

"When mothers talk about the the depression of the empty nest, they're not 
mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that 
numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the 
shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's 
life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States."

---
In memory of Erma Bombeck, who lost her fight with autosomal dominant 
polycystic kidney disease.  More Information re: ADPKD
---

For previous stories and messages files, Please click HERE